i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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