I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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