I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
