I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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