sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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