Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
