This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
