My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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