Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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