I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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