I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize