There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
