Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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