Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
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went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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