I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He felt like a one man threesome
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
