can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
