So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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