dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
