How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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