Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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