ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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