just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
