the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
