There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
