I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
