How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
