i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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