It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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