I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
