Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
