I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
