come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
