I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
