I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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