im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
