Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
