My room smells like vodka and shame
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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