fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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