problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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