the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
