now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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