i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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