You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
