i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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