You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
