bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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