It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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