I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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