Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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