How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
