oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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