Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize