There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
