I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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