In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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