We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
