how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
