I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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