we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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