what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
