you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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