stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
