she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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