"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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