at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
