Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize