Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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